So, the bloggy blog has a new look thanks to my friend, Alex, and her amazing HTML knowledge that reaches much, much further than my own.
What do you think?
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
What's That Smell?
A fun game, to be sure. WTF is that SMELL?!? I've been playing it all morning. Is it the kitchen sink?
GAH, YES!!! *clean clean clean scrub scrub scrub*
*sniff*
OMGOOOOOOSH, what is that SMELL?! It's still here! Is it the TRASH?
YES! *remove remove scrub clean clean*
It still smells like moldy buffalo ass in here. WTF could it BE? I'm about to shove bleach up my nose.
-------
In other stinky news:
A lot of Aspies have a very acute sense of smell. I can't really describe it. It's part of sensory processing disorder. It's not that we can smell BETTER necessarily, it's more like certain smells connect different synapses in our brains that cause emotional response (big words make me sound smart.) As such, smells are a big emotional trigger for me. Right now, I've Febreezed the house to death and lit a million candles, and it still stinks in here, and I can't figure it out.
On a daily basis, though, as anyone who has little boys will tell you, my house has the distinct smell of old, crusty urine. I play "where's that urine" a LOT, too, to try to figure out what exactly HAVE they peed on, and how can I best clean it as to not dig my sinuses out with a spoon. It's like they mark their territory. The dudes use three of the four bathrooms in this house. The master bath is a little-dude-free zone. When you walk by any of those three bathrooms, you have to hold your breath. Or die. The dudes clean the bathrooms on the weekends they are here. I refuse to venture into those and prefer to just keep the doors closed at all times and pretend those don't exist and that my dudes poop in the woods.
So, imagine my surprise when I was upstairs (the kids' domain) today and forgot to hold my breath as I walked past the bathroom (with an open door) that the Big Man uses and smelled....nothing. No pee. That bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a week, and there was NO PEE SMELL.
Have we reached a turning point, dear readers? Has the Big Man finally learned that pee goes IN the toilet instead of AROUND the toilet, on the back of the toilet, on the floor, on the walls, or in the sink? Has he learned how to flush properly?
Stay tuned...
GAH, YES!!! *clean clean clean scrub scrub scrub*
*sniff*
OMGOOOOOOSH, what is that SMELL?! It's still here! Is it the TRASH?
YES! *remove remove scrub clean clean*
It still smells like moldy buffalo ass in here. WTF could it BE? I'm about to shove bleach up my nose.
-------
In other stinky news:
A lot of Aspies have a very acute sense of smell. I can't really describe it. It's part of sensory processing disorder. It's not that we can smell BETTER necessarily, it's more like certain smells connect different synapses in our brains that cause emotional response (big words make me sound smart.) As such, smells are a big emotional trigger for me. Right now, I've Febreezed the house to death and lit a million candles, and it still stinks in here, and I can't figure it out.
On a daily basis, though, as anyone who has little boys will tell you, my house has the distinct smell of old, crusty urine. I play "where's that urine" a LOT, too, to try to figure out what exactly HAVE they peed on, and how can I best clean it as to not dig my sinuses out with a spoon. It's like they mark their territory. The dudes use three of the four bathrooms in this house. The master bath is a little-dude-free zone. When you walk by any of those three bathrooms, you have to hold your breath. Or die. The dudes clean the bathrooms on the weekends they are here. I refuse to venture into those and prefer to just keep the doors closed at all times and pretend those don't exist and that my dudes poop in the woods.
So, imagine my surprise when I was upstairs (the kids' domain) today and forgot to hold my breath as I walked past the bathroom (with an open door) that the Big Man uses and smelled....nothing. No pee. That bathroom hasn't been cleaned in over a week, and there was NO PEE SMELL.
Have we reached a turning point, dear readers? Has the Big Man finally learned that pee goes IN the toilet instead of AROUND the toilet, on the back of the toilet, on the floor, on the walls, or in the sink? Has he learned how to flush properly?
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Why It's OK to be the "Evil Stepmother"
I wrote this for Circle of Moms, and they reviewed it but didn't pick it up to publish, so that means I can publish it here :)
I'm an Evil Stepmother. There. I said it. I make my stepdudes (6 and 8) clean up after themselves AND do some other chores around the house like taking out the trash or cleaning cat litter. Messes they didn't even make! I also put them in time out, take away their toys and send them to their rooms if they are being disrespectful. I do not wait for Daddy to get home from work to deal with the problem. I'm not another child in this house, tattling to Daddy. I am an adult who is to be respected. I am responsible for the safety and well being of these two little dudes when they are here with me.
If I had birthed them, this would be called "parenting". Since they came from someone else's nether regions, it's not parenting, it's evil and not my place. I'm here to say, "Heck, yes, it's my place!" for two reasons.
One, this is my home. My sanctuary. I have every right to live in a peaceful, clean, respectful environment. Stepparents have just as much of a right to this as biological parents do. I absolutely refuse to be a hostage to children in my own home.
The second reason is the more important. It's because I love them. The dudes are not visitors here. This is their home, too. They also have every right to a peaceful, clean, respectful sanctuary. One without a brother taking toys away, calling names and having screaming fits when he doesn't get his way. My stepdudes have the right to happiness and a loving home.
As a stepparent, it is my job to guide these dudes to be the most amazing adults they can be, just like their biological parents. We can't do that if we allow them to disrespect me and our homes. Notice the use of "we". "We" is key in the discipline situation. In your home, you and your husband must communicate effectively to decide what punishments go with what crimes. He must back you up. The kids need to see you as Team Super Parentals (Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun!) Don't think they don't know how to pit you against your husband (or you and your husband against his ex-wife) for maximum juvenile benefit. If he doesn't back you up, undermines your discipline (i.e. ungrounds when you've grounded), etc. it's all over. Your children (step or not) will see you as a peer rather than an authority figure.
I'm an Evil Stepmother. There. I said it. I make my stepdudes (6 and 8) clean up after themselves AND do some other chores around the house like taking out the trash or cleaning cat litter. Messes they didn't even make! I also put them in time out, take away their toys and send them to their rooms if they are being disrespectful. I do not wait for Daddy to get home from work to deal with the problem. I'm not another child in this house, tattling to Daddy. I am an adult who is to be respected. I am responsible for the safety and well being of these two little dudes when they are here with me.
If I had birthed them, this would be called "parenting". Since they came from someone else's nether regions, it's not parenting, it's evil and not my place. I'm here to say, "Heck, yes, it's my place!" for two reasons.
One, this is my home. My sanctuary. I have every right to live in a peaceful, clean, respectful environment. Stepparents have just as much of a right to this as biological parents do. I absolutely refuse to be a hostage to children in my own home.
The second reason is the more important. It's because I love them. The dudes are not visitors here. This is their home, too. They also have every right to a peaceful, clean, respectful sanctuary. One without a brother taking toys away, calling names and having screaming fits when he doesn't get his way. My stepdudes have the right to happiness and a loving home.
As a stepparent, it is my job to guide these dudes to be the most amazing adults they can be, just like their biological parents. We can't do that if we allow them to disrespect me and our homes. Notice the use of "we". "We" is key in the discipline situation. In your home, you and your husband must communicate effectively to decide what punishments go with what crimes. He must back you up. The kids need to see you as Team Super Parentals (Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun!) Don't think they don't know how to pit you against your husband (or you and your husband against his ex-wife) for maximum juvenile benefit. If he doesn't back you up, undermines your discipline (i.e. ungrounds when you've grounded), etc. it's all over. Your children (step or not) will see you as a peer rather than an authority figure.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Eight Crazy Nights
We have just gotten back from a glorious 8-day vacation aboard the Disney Magic! Here's a picture of a picture, since I got a new machine and can't figure out how to install the scanner.
This is a family picture for the Bot's room :) The nursery has a Paris theme, Belle's French. It's a stretch. Whatever. I was hoping for one with Tiana. Not only is she French (New Orleans French), but her pale green dress would go better in the nursery than Belle's sunny yellow one. We, unfortunately, could never get in line early enough to get a photo with Tiana. One of my only complaints about the Disney cruise experience. If you didn't get in line 20 minutes early for a character, there was no way you were getting a photo.
The family "babymoon" was LOADS of fun, though, with even a little bit of relaxation thrown in there. Disney has the Oceaneer's Club, which we let the kids go into any time they asked. It was like a day camp in there! There were counselors and other kids and tons of games and activities to play. There were two little phones per room, and once the kids were tired or done playing what they wanted in the club, the club would text us to let us know that the kids wanted picked up, and we'd go get them for family pool time or dinner or a show or what have you. There were two aspects of it, too, the Club and the Lab, so if the kids were annoying one another, they just self-separated, and one would go into the Lab to do different activities. AND the spaces were open for "family time" for a few hours a day, so we could go in and do activities with the kids. We made cookies! And Little Man learned a new song, which he sings all of the time. "I like to mix it, mix it. I like to mix it, mix it!" We were on the Salt team. We kicked Pepper's butt. The cookies were amazing.
We DID hear the normal bickering, of course, and it was annoying but funny at the same time. It was annoying because we had to keep saying, "For Pete's sake! Knock it off!" but it was funny because every time we walked down the hall, we heard the EXACT SAME bickering from every set of siblings on the boat. "It's MY turn to push the elevator button! It's MY turn to use the room key! I NEVER GET TO DO IT!!!!!" haha
While they were in the Club/Lab, Eric and I got to sit at Quiet Cove (adults only/scream-free zone!), or play basketball, or watch a real live Iron Chef-esque competition, or go see a show or a movie if we wanted (we never did, even though The Avengers was playing). Eric got second in a free-throw tournament. I got last place. Even though I asked for 10 points of handicap for pregnant status. Even with the 10 points, I still got last place. Turns out, I can't really throw a basketball all that far :) I also got last place in an 80s/90s music trivia game. I blame that on pregnancy, too. I KNEW those dang songs. I just couldn't remember the names of them. Big an won a ribbon
IIIIIII....I just died in your arms toniiiiight!!! Had that on record when I was a kid. Still couldn't remember the name of it.
The absolute best part of the experience was dinner. Well, it was stressful for me and Eric because it lasted a long time to keep kids occupied, but it was AWESOME for the kids because of Jimi and Anna, our serving staff. Little Man was constantly asking when they got to see them again. They played with the dudes and entertained them and showed them magic tricks and remembered their names and sang happy birthday to them and knew all of their favorite foods.
We had a port day in Florida with a bus ride to the Magic Kingdom that was a bust, unfortunately. It rained all day. We all came back cranky and wet. All of the rides shut down. We did climb the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House at my request, which I thought was neat. We got to ride Pirates, and then the kids got to do their first roller coaster, Big Thunder Mountain!
Little Man even put his hands up! That daredevil. Anyway, after that, the rain really started coming down, and the rides all started to close up, so we went and built light sabers and hopped back on the bus, down a hundred bucks. I did get a really great blueberry muffin and enjoyed people watching a bit.
The day we came home was 15 hours cooped up in an airport or on a plane on the Big Man's 8th birthday (sorry, dude). The kids took that like a champ, and Little Man only acted up once we were at our home airport four hours after his bedtime and only for like five minutes before he passed out in the car.
I have one really AMAZING memory that happened on the cruise. The kids were in the club and Eric was out playing basketball. I was just hanging out in the room relaxing, watching a movie, when The Bot woke up and started Ninjitsu practice in my tummy. She was hitting me really hard, so I lifted up my shirt, and SURE ENOUGH! I SAW HER!!! My belly was jumping all over the place. I laughed so hard and immediately called Eric on the little cell phone from the room. It was MAGIC!
This blog post is long and unfunny, but I wanted to write down some memories.
This is a family picture for the Bot's room :) The nursery has a Paris theme, Belle's French. It's a stretch. Whatever. I was hoping for one with Tiana. Not only is she French (New Orleans French), but her pale green dress would go better in the nursery than Belle's sunny yellow one. We, unfortunately, could never get in line early enough to get a photo with Tiana. One of my only complaints about the Disney cruise experience. If you didn't get in line 20 minutes early for a character, there was no way you were getting a photo.
The family "babymoon" was LOADS of fun, though, with even a little bit of relaxation thrown in there. Disney has the Oceaneer's Club, which we let the kids go into any time they asked. It was like a day camp in there! There were counselors and other kids and tons of games and activities to play. There were two little phones per room, and once the kids were tired or done playing what they wanted in the club, the club would text us to let us know that the kids wanted picked up, and we'd go get them for family pool time or dinner or a show or what have you. There were two aspects of it, too, the Club and the Lab, so if the kids were annoying one another, they just self-separated, and one would go into the Lab to do different activities. AND the spaces were open for "family time" for a few hours a day, so we could go in and do activities with the kids. We made cookies! And Little Man learned a new song, which he sings all of the time. "I like to mix it, mix it. I like to mix it, mix it!" We were on the Salt team. We kicked Pepper's butt. The cookies were amazing.
We DID hear the normal bickering, of course, and it was annoying but funny at the same time. It was annoying because we had to keep saying, "For Pete's sake! Knock it off!" but it was funny because every time we walked down the hall, we heard the EXACT SAME bickering from every set of siblings on the boat. "It's MY turn to push the elevator button! It's MY turn to use the room key! I NEVER GET TO DO IT!!!!!" haha
While they were in the Club/Lab, Eric and I got to sit at Quiet Cove (adults only/scream-free zone!), or play basketball, or watch a real live Iron Chef-esque competition, or go see a show or a movie if we wanted (we never did, even though The Avengers was playing). Eric got second in a free-throw tournament. I got last place. Even though I asked for 10 points of handicap for pregnant status. Even with the 10 points, I still got last place. Turns out, I can't really throw a basketball all that far :) I also got last place in an 80s/90s music trivia game. I blame that on pregnancy, too. I KNEW those dang songs. I just couldn't remember the names of them. Big an won a ribbon
IIIIIII....I just died in your arms toniiiiight!!! Had that on record when I was a kid. Still couldn't remember the name of it.
The absolute best part of the experience was dinner. Well, it was stressful for me and Eric because it lasted a long time to keep kids occupied, but it was AWESOME for the kids because of Jimi and Anna, our serving staff. Little Man was constantly asking when they got to see them again. They played with the dudes and entertained them and showed them magic tricks and remembered their names and sang happy birthday to them and knew all of their favorite foods.
We had a port day in Florida with a bus ride to the Magic Kingdom that was a bust, unfortunately. It rained all day. We all came back cranky and wet. All of the rides shut down. We did climb the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House at my request, which I thought was neat. We got to ride Pirates, and then the kids got to do their first roller coaster, Big Thunder Mountain!
Little Man even put his hands up! That daredevil. Anyway, after that, the rain really started coming down, and the rides all started to close up, so we went and built light sabers and hopped back on the bus, down a hundred bucks. I did get a really great blueberry muffin and enjoyed people watching a bit.
The day we came home was 15 hours cooped up in an airport or on a plane on the Big Man's 8th birthday (sorry, dude). The kids took that like a champ, and Little Man only acted up once we were at our home airport four hours after his bedtime and only for like five minutes before he passed out in the car.
I have one really AMAZING memory that happened on the cruise. The kids were in the club and Eric was out playing basketball. I was just hanging out in the room relaxing, watching a movie, when The Bot woke up and started Ninjitsu practice in my tummy. She was hitting me really hard, so I lifted up my shirt, and SURE ENOUGH! I SAW HER!!! My belly was jumping all over the place. I laughed so hard and immediately called Eric on the little cell phone from the room. It was MAGIC!
This blog post is long and unfunny, but I wanted to write down some memories.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Love Blender
I'm changing the look, description and name of my blog this morning to "Love Blender". The address will be the same, since Loveblender.blogspot is already taken, though it only has one post, and it was years ago, and it's not about anything parenty, so I'm sure it's fine that I take the name. I'm writing a post for Circle of Moms about identity and definitions, and I decided The Autistic Stepmom is just too much definition for me.
Hope you enjoy the new format, and if not, poop on you!
Hope you enjoy the new format, and if not, poop on you!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Creative...Discipline? Parenting? Party Games?
The east-side Indianapolis Walmart. Always a grand adventure. You all have one of these Walmarts in your town. The Walmart everyone avoids because it is just TOO trashy to be seen near. Not even a roll back to free hand sanitizer can get you in there unless you've been promised VIP status, and the Walmart will be cleared of all other customers before you set foot in it. Yeah. I was there today. Herein lies the fun.
First, I get there at 10 a.m. There are four items on my list. I grab the first from the bakery and head to the toy section for a pair of swim goggles. This is when my adventure begins. Teeth cringing through some horrid country song on the PA system, I am relieved when it is shut off mid-song, thinking, "Oh, good, some generic announcement about $4 prescriptions is much better than that twangy crap." But, was it an advertisement? OH, NO! No it was not! It was someone changing the station. To a VERY loud, VERY vulgar rap song. I actually had to stop my wonky cart with the gum stuck to one wheel (kerthump, kerthump, kerthump) to comment about it on Facebook. Someone figured it out and shut it back off, and I was placed back into the hands of Carrie Underwood with a new appreciation for songs that don't say "bitch" every other word.
BTW, the east side Walmart? Out of adult-sized swim goggles. So, on to Electronics where a nice young person calling himself "Hennessey" assisted me for 0.35 seconds before he was pulled away from a customer (me) for a very important mission with a handrolled cigarette back behind the box bailer. His replacement cashier was an extremely thin woman with "RIP some dude" tattooed on her neck who was chewing gum with her mouth open so wide that she may have won a cud-chewing contest against six prized dairy cows. She couldn't get my gift card to work. "I can never get them gift cards to work right." Them. Them gift cards. *sigh* Faith in humanity? Destroyed. Kerthump, kerthump, kerthump I go out of the store. Finally. Where I see the most disturbing thing I've seen in quite a while...
Walking to the car behind me was a woman and a young boy, perhaps 10 years old. The boy was in handcuffs. Behind his back, cuffed. The woman was NOT a police officer. In fact, by the resemblance, I would assume she was his mother. He did not seem distressed or disturbed by his cuffs in any way, meaning he wasn't trying to fight them or anything. He didn't seem sad or upset, either, or even all that embarrassed. She had the key, so SHE cuffed him. She uncuffed him so that he could get into the car.
WTF, T?!?!? I was trying to make up stories to why this is possibly happening, but most of them in my head were really disturbing. Like, he has special needs and flails and needs controlled. But, for real, I think that's considered abuse. Then I thought, maybe this is some sort of creative discipline. Maybe, junior got caught shoplifting or something. "For our next 20 trips to the store, young man, your hands will be cuffed behind your back so that your sticky fingers can't touch anything!" Then, in my head, I said, "haaaaaahahahahahahha!" I've often thought about what kinda creative discipline I would employ if I caught my kids shoplifting when they got older. That may go in the hat. I was thinking I'd have them go on the PA system in the store and apologize to all of the customers because of the higher prices due to the five-finger discount he was trying to employ. "I was just trying to get a discount, Karen! You love a good deal!"
As I left the east side Walmart, there was, of course, a lady standing at the intersection with a sign asking for money. I didn't give her any. Hardly anyone I know gives these people money, but lots of other people do. I don't give them money mostly because I don't carry cash. Other people's reasons are different. Like, "I don't know what they are going to do with it." I don't know what my waitress at Steak N Shake is gonna do with her money, either, but I still tip her. Maybe I'll start giving them coupons instead. That way, I KNOW they are spending it on 3 boxes of Keebler crackers 12 oz size or bigger. Or, "I saw on the news that those people make a ton of money and aren't really needy." The lie that they are homeless or needy IS annoying. However, I don't care if they make a ton of money. They do work for it. Standing up for 8 to 10 hours on the side of a highway in all kinds of weather seems like the shittiest job ever. At least they are their own boss. Hey, they're livin the dream! No workin for the man for those folks! You take that vacation day if you need it, Harold! No one can stop you!
First, I get there at 10 a.m. There are four items on my list. I grab the first from the bakery and head to the toy section for a pair of swim goggles. This is when my adventure begins. Teeth cringing through some horrid country song on the PA system, I am relieved when it is shut off mid-song, thinking, "Oh, good, some generic announcement about $4 prescriptions is much better than that twangy crap." But, was it an advertisement? OH, NO! No it was not! It was someone changing the station. To a VERY loud, VERY vulgar rap song. I actually had to stop my wonky cart with the gum stuck to one wheel (kerthump, kerthump, kerthump) to comment about it on Facebook. Someone figured it out and shut it back off, and I was placed back into the hands of Carrie Underwood with a new appreciation for songs that don't say "bitch" every other word.
BTW, the east side Walmart? Out of adult-sized swim goggles. So, on to Electronics where a nice young person calling himself "Hennessey" assisted me for 0.35 seconds before he was pulled away from a customer (me) for a very important mission with a handrolled cigarette back behind the box bailer. His replacement cashier was an extremely thin woman with "RIP some dude" tattooed on her neck who was chewing gum with her mouth open so wide that she may have won a cud-chewing contest against six prized dairy cows. She couldn't get my gift card to work. "I can never get them gift cards to work right." Them. Them gift cards. *sigh* Faith in humanity? Destroyed. Kerthump, kerthump, kerthump I go out of the store. Finally. Where I see the most disturbing thing I've seen in quite a while...
Walking to the car behind me was a woman and a young boy, perhaps 10 years old. The boy was in handcuffs. Behind his back, cuffed. The woman was NOT a police officer. In fact, by the resemblance, I would assume she was his mother. He did not seem distressed or disturbed by his cuffs in any way, meaning he wasn't trying to fight them or anything. He didn't seem sad or upset, either, or even all that embarrassed. She had the key, so SHE cuffed him. She uncuffed him so that he could get into the car.
WTF, T?!?!? I was trying to make up stories to why this is possibly happening, but most of them in my head were really disturbing. Like, he has special needs and flails and needs controlled. But, for real, I think that's considered abuse. Then I thought, maybe this is some sort of creative discipline. Maybe, junior got caught shoplifting or something. "For our next 20 trips to the store, young man, your hands will be cuffed behind your back so that your sticky fingers can't touch anything!" Then, in my head, I said, "haaaaaahahahahahahha!" I've often thought about what kinda creative discipline I would employ if I caught my kids shoplifting when they got older. That may go in the hat. I was thinking I'd have them go on the PA system in the store and apologize to all of the customers because of the higher prices due to the five-finger discount he was trying to employ. "I was just trying to get a discount, Karen! You love a good deal!"
As I left the east side Walmart, there was, of course, a lady standing at the intersection with a sign asking for money. I didn't give her any. Hardly anyone I know gives these people money, but lots of other people do. I don't give them money mostly because I don't carry cash. Other people's reasons are different. Like, "I don't know what they are going to do with it." I don't know what my waitress at Steak N Shake is gonna do with her money, either, but I still tip her. Maybe I'll start giving them coupons instead. That way, I KNOW they are spending it on 3 boxes of Keebler crackers 12 oz size or bigger. Or, "I saw on the news that those people make a ton of money and aren't really needy." The lie that they are homeless or needy IS annoying. However, I don't care if they make a ton of money. They do work for it. Standing up for 8 to 10 hours on the side of a highway in all kinds of weather seems like the shittiest job ever. At least they are their own boss. Hey, they're livin the dream! No workin for the man for those folks! You take that vacation day if you need it, Harold! No one can stop you!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Those Oddball Attachment Parents
So, this horrid Time magazine cover has spotlighted two
things. One, the mommy wars, so eff them
for that. “Are You Mom Enough?” Yes.
Thanks. I don’t even have to read
your stupid article to know that I am. I
won’t be reading it, as it is, as something as ridiculous as that will
certainly not earn any of my money. The
second spotlight, and what the article pretends to be about when it is really
about sensationalism, is attachment parenting.
That’s what this Snoop Bloggy Blog is going to be about. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing,
etc. All are signs that you are an
attachment parent.
So, when we got pregnant I had lots of ideas for my labor and
delivery and how we were gonna feed the baby, etc. Turns out, we’re kinda attachment parents,
by frugality and convenience really.
Now, I had heard the term before, but I have never read anything about
it. I’d never heard of Dr. Sears, and I
still haven’t read anything he’s ever written.
I had heard of and read Dr. Laura.
Off topic, but eff that snooty mcsnootsnoot.
Attachment parenting is the subject of much ridicule. I was unaware of this. Because…why?
This makes no sense to me. I’m
gonna breastfeed this kid. Why does that
mean I get ridiculed? Formula is
expensive, dudes! Breastfeeding is like
the ultimate extreme couponing but without the hoarding. Er…scratch that. Ask me again when I’m engorged and nowhere
near a baby or a pump. I’ll be all
BREAST MILK HOARDERS! TONIGHT ON TLC. Anyway, there hasn’t been much discussion
from people about this other than my husband and my doctor saying, “Hey, how
you gonna feed the bot?” and me responding, “Through these AMAZING boobs!”
Apparently, though, once I actually start feeding my kid, in
real life, instead of just talking about it, I will get points and stares. The heck?
This makes NO sense to me. I will
also get points and stares if the kid is crying and I DON’T feed it, because, “Hey,
shut that kid up.” Oh, man, I didn’t
even know she was cryin, dude! Thanks
for pointing that out! Lemme go ahead
and duct tape her mouth for your convenience, since I’ll get even more rude
comments if I actually FEED her.
Ok, ok, fine, I understand about some of the ridicule or why
there is ridicule. Breastfeeding makes
others uncomfortable. Not my problem,
really, and I’ll feed the bot whenever or wherever he’s hungry if he’s with me,
but I do see the other side of the coin as to WHY there is “debate” about this. I also wanna breastfeed the bot until at
least a year old and then slow weaning at nighttimes until maybe 2 or so,
because this LINKY LINK!
It’s from the American Academy of Pediatrics, so not one
doctor trying to sell a book but lots of doctors who are peer-reviewed and have
different ideas about stuff. Scientists,
not sensationalists. It says
breastfeeding to a year is preferred, so I’ma do that. Big kids attached at the boob is debatable,
too. I don’t care, really. I’m not gonna take pictures and put it on the
internet, but I’m gonna do what I think is best for the bot. Still, I get why people talk about it. It’s not the norm in the US. Whatever.
What I DON’T understand a debate about is babywearing. I had no idea this was so controversial. I still don’t understand WHY it is so
controversial. I bought a sling and a Baby
Bjorn and a hip carrier. I registered
for a Moby wrap. I didn’t know this was
weird or not normal. Hell, the picture
on the Baby Bjorn of a dude wearing the baby looks like it was taken in 1982. (Note to manufacturer. Maybe it’s time for an update, hmmm?) Then a post popped up on my mom’s site about
people getting stares and points for wearing the baby. Wha?
Then a friend was discussing the ridiculous Time cover on her Facebook
page, and someone replied with “whole insane goddamn
sling thing”. Uh, double
WHA?? Wearing a baby is “insane?” I’m gonna do it because have you ever lugged
that danged, heavy-ass pumpkin seat around with you wherever you went? It seems so much easier to just pop the kid
in a carrier, and you can be hands free, right?
I cannot even remotely find the logic in thinking that people who wear a
baby are weird or that it’s an insane thing to do. There was no explanation as to WHY it is insane. Just that it is. Can someone explain this to me? It just seems so…convenient! Kid in a backpack, instead of bicep curls
with the baby seat walkin through the mall and trying to figure out the crazy
travel stroller thing while the kid screams in the back of the car because you’re
out of her line of sight for 30 seconds while you unfold the thing. I thought I was gonna wear this baby in order
to KEEP my sanity.
Also, been practicing with the cat. The tail has been a problem, but I think the wiggle factor is about right.
Also, been practicing with the cat. The tail has been a problem, but I think the wiggle factor is about right.
I don’t have anything to say about
co-sleeping. I’m not putting my baby in
my bed. Though, the bot will be NEXT to
the bed in a pack and play with a raised bassinet attachment. Again, convenient. I can just slouch on over there, put him in
the sling and shove a boob in his mouth at 3 a.m.
I’m WEIRD? Huh. Well, putting a cat in the sling IS weird, but in general. I
mean, I’ve never pointed and stared at a kid breastfeeding or being fed
formula, or in a baby wrap, or in a stroller.
I don’t plan on starting either, now that I know that some of these
practices are abnormal, apparently. This
all just seems so strange to me. I
always assumed that we were all doing the best we could with what our guts told
us to do. That we were ALL “mom enough.”
Monday, May 7, 2012
Here We Go!
I have SO MUCH to say! School is finally over for me. I'm walking in the commencement ceremony in six days! Ok, so first. There will be topics! I have THAT much to say.
THINGS THAT ARE NOT WORDS:
Supposibly. Supposably is also not a word. That red line under it doesn't mean that you spelled it wrong. You can't spell it correctly. Supposed. Now THAT'S a word.
Irregardless. HAAAAAAAAAAATE! STABBY STABBY! Regardless = word. Irregardless = making you look like a moron. Actually, this may be one that is used SO egregiously that it has become a word now. Either way, it's redundant.
Conversate. Converse will do. Oh! Unless! Maybe we are starting to conjugate verbs with super special endings. Like romance languages. English. Ah. So romantic. *flutter eyelashes*
Condensate. Much like above, not a word. Condense. Water...it condenses on things.
CIRCLE OF MOMS:
Y'all did it! I made it onto the Top 25 Moms of Blended Families blogs on Circle of Moms. You can click HERE to get to the COM Round-Up. WHY would you want to do that, you ask? Because as number 22 in the Top 25, I have been invited to guest blog on the Round-Up. This means LOTS more readers! But not here, because I can't just write a post here and then copy it to send to the Round-Up. I have to send it to the Round-Up first, and then, if they like it and publish it, I can copy it to here. If they hate it and don't want to publish it, then I could copy it to here, too, but, then again, I'd have already been told it sucked, so why would you awesome dudes wanna read it? Never stopped me before, I guess.
Anyway, the point is to say THANK YOU! Your votes have really, REALLY helped me out. More readers means more exposure. More exposure means a better chance of success for...
LULUNACY:
I'm getting art supplies today! That means that LuLunacy begins now. I'm going to draw LuLu so that I can have a picture of her in my head as I develop her. I'm going to draw her blog design, so I can show it to Eric and say, "Hey, babity babity babe, can you make this picture a reality on the internets? I'll make you an English muffin." I'm going to start drawing story boards. I need to start at the end, I think. Where do I want LuLu to end up? I'm not sure, yet, but I think I need the end before I write the beginning.
SCHOOL:
There's not much to say about it. I'm finished. I have the highest GPA of the Political Science Department. Maybe. Two of my grades haven't come in, yet. I think I got a B in Geography. That sucks. I've never gotten a B as a final course grade before, and it happened on my last class ever and because of a GROUP project that I got a D on. A D!! Relying on others for my grades is lame. I may have still gotten an A. If I was able to pull 41 out of 50 points on my final exam, I can still get one. I'm not too confident about it, but maybe I got it. Grades are due this evening, and then they update them in the morning, so I'll find out then. Pregnancy has wrought havoc on my studying the semester. I was just so tired and unable to concentrate. I'm shocked that my Terrorism and African Politics grades turned out the way they did. I really thought my AP paper was crap. Apparently my professor thought otherwise. I do speculate, though, that I didn't really EARN that A on that paper. I think there was some bias. That particular professor knows a lot about my history. He's my advisor. He knows about my high GPA and what I do to maintain it. He knows I had an unfair grade from another professor due to negative bias on a GOOD paper I wrote. He knows about my autism. His son has it, too. I think he may have done me a solid here and maybe added a few additional points. Not a lot. I mean, it wasn't a FAILING paper by any means. I did work hard on it. I just didn't focus well.
FEELINGS. NOTHING MORE THAN...FEELINGS:
School ending has been really tough for me. I loved it, and more than that, I was exceptional at it. I'm now a full-time wife, mom and homemaker. These are things that I do not feel that I'm exceptional at. Add pregnancy hormones to that, and it's been a rough transition. I can't go back to work at this time. I'll have the dudes home with me all summer and then the bot in the fall. It's a hard pill to swallow working so hard for so many years, spending over $50K on an education, and then...making peanut butter sandwiches, doing dishes and playing Candyland all day. Mentally stimulating it is not. That's why I have LuLu. Adult interaction, though, I think is going to be the rough spot for me. I need to talk and hang out with humans often that are over the age of 8.
THE DUDES!
Birthdays are coming up! Little Man will be 6, and Big Man will be 8 in just a few short weeks. They are getting the birthday bash of the century this year. We wanted to do something big for them since the Bot is coming. We're taking the dudes on a babymoon. In 3-1/2 weeks, we'll be setting off for Manhattan to hop on board the Disney Magic for an 8-day cruise to the Bahamas, PLUS a day at Disney World! The dudes are SO excited. They wake up once a week and ask, "OMGosh, is it Boat Day?!? IS IT BOAT DAY!?!?" haha
Then, they get to come home, and the next weekend have a huge family party down in Kentucky at one of their favorite places where there is a pool and a trampoline and horses. Making out like bandits this year. Which is good. Since they have no toys left. Explanation to follow:
BEFORE:
This seriously happened. Two dudes + one playroom = THIS. And this is only half of it that would fit in the picture. The mess extended another 200 square feet to the right. This is a HUGE "L-shaped" room.
There were warnings. Two weeks of warnings. "I'm going to come down here with trash bags." "Seriously, dudes. You do NOT want me to clean this up. There WILL be trash bags involved." The dudes. They did not listen. Instead, they dumped out yet ANOTHER tub of toys onto the floor. Then, one day, Little Man came upstairs sans glasses. "Where are your glasses?" "I dunno. Downstairs somewhere." *Head asplode*
So. The next day. I cleaned it. For 8 hours.
Happy dudes this did NOT make. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth and sorting through the trash to see if they could sneak some salvage back into their lives. They couldn't. There were WARNINGS! Still always a shock when we follow through with discipline. Always. It's been 5 years of always following through. No idle threats. WTF?
Anyway, I did NOT throw away all of it. I threw away about 1/3 of it. All broken, missing parts or unused for years. Dried Play-Doh and markers that haven't seen the light of day (or a lid) in 6 months, full coloring books, plus thousands of little bits of paper. The dudes are obsessed with cutting paper into teeny tiny bits. With all of the broken stuff, I still managed to fill two lawn trash bags to be sent to the curb. The toddler toys went into two large tubs to be sorted for garage sale. About 1/3 of it went into a separate room for them to keep. It's the stuff they actually try to play with but, shockingly, had no space. Seriously, who could set up a train track or a race road in that mess?
So we've gotta new system, and it seems to be working out well. The kids check toys out of the storage room. They've even made it fun for themselves by making a little library card to pretend to swipe when they check out toys. When they are done with those, they clean them up and exchange them. The best part is that they have all of this SPACE to play! They can put on skates or build a huge train or just run in circles in here now because it's empty. Good stuff. Of course, after birthdays, we're gonna have to find a little more room in the storage area for the new toys.
Unfortunately, I did NOT find the glasses. They weren't in there. Two days later, Eric found them in his office, on top of a box of tools. They were blending right in with the hammer. He owes me 8 hours of back and foot rubs. Finally...
THE BOT!
The Bot will be 18 weeks in the tummy in two days, and we find out if it's a male or female bot in about 2-1/2 weeks :) She's tumbling around in there like CRAZY and measuring a full week bigger than she's supposed to. I'm hitting lots of pregnancy milestones early, like feeling movement, feet swelling, etc. I wonder if that means I'll give birth early. I'm enjoying the pregnancy and everything that comes with it quite a lot, though the heartburn so far is the worst. I feel like I can't breathe, and it stops me from sleeping for a while most nights. I have to talk to my doctor about a better solution than Tums.
Ok, I HAVE to stop writing now and get to my to-do list. I wanna attempt my first batch of cupcakes from scratch today. Try to make my homemaker skills a little higher than mediocre.
THINGS THAT ARE NOT WORDS:
Supposibly. Supposably is also not a word. That red line under it doesn't mean that you spelled it wrong. You can't spell it correctly. Supposed. Now THAT'S a word.
Irregardless. HAAAAAAAAAAATE! STABBY STABBY! Regardless = word. Irregardless = making you look like a moron. Actually, this may be one that is used SO egregiously that it has become a word now. Either way, it's redundant.
Conversate. Converse will do. Oh! Unless! Maybe we are starting to conjugate verbs with super special endings. Like romance languages. English. Ah. So romantic. *flutter eyelashes*
Condensate. Much like above, not a word. Condense. Water...it condenses on things.
CIRCLE OF MOMS:
Y'all did it! I made it onto the Top 25 Moms of Blended Families blogs on Circle of Moms. You can click HERE to get to the COM Round-Up. WHY would you want to do that, you ask? Because as number 22 in the Top 25, I have been invited to guest blog on the Round-Up. This means LOTS more readers! But not here, because I can't just write a post here and then copy it to send to the Round-Up. I have to send it to the Round-Up first, and then, if they like it and publish it, I can copy it to here. If they hate it and don't want to publish it, then I could copy it to here, too, but, then again, I'd have already been told it sucked, so why would you awesome dudes wanna read it? Never stopped me before, I guess.
Anyway, the point is to say THANK YOU! Your votes have really, REALLY helped me out. More readers means more exposure. More exposure means a better chance of success for...
LULUNACY:
I'm getting art supplies today! That means that LuLunacy begins now. I'm going to draw LuLu so that I can have a picture of her in my head as I develop her. I'm going to draw her blog design, so I can show it to Eric and say, "Hey, babity babity babe, can you make this picture a reality on the internets? I'll make you an English muffin." I'm going to start drawing story boards. I need to start at the end, I think. Where do I want LuLu to end up? I'm not sure, yet, but I think I need the end before I write the beginning.
SCHOOL:
There's not much to say about it. I'm finished. I have the highest GPA of the Political Science Department. Maybe. Two of my grades haven't come in, yet. I think I got a B in Geography. That sucks. I've never gotten a B as a final course grade before, and it happened on my last class ever and because of a GROUP project that I got a D on. A D!! Relying on others for my grades is lame. I may have still gotten an A. If I was able to pull 41 out of 50 points on my final exam, I can still get one. I'm not too confident about it, but maybe I got it. Grades are due this evening, and then they update them in the morning, so I'll find out then. Pregnancy has wrought havoc on my studying the semester. I was just so tired and unable to concentrate. I'm shocked that my Terrorism and African Politics grades turned out the way they did. I really thought my AP paper was crap. Apparently my professor thought otherwise. I do speculate, though, that I didn't really EARN that A on that paper. I think there was some bias. That particular professor knows a lot about my history. He's my advisor. He knows about my high GPA and what I do to maintain it. He knows I had an unfair grade from another professor due to negative bias on a GOOD paper I wrote. He knows about my autism. His son has it, too. I think he may have done me a solid here and maybe added a few additional points. Not a lot. I mean, it wasn't a FAILING paper by any means. I did work hard on it. I just didn't focus well.
FEELINGS. NOTHING MORE THAN...FEELINGS:
School ending has been really tough for me. I loved it, and more than that, I was exceptional at it. I'm now a full-time wife, mom and homemaker. These are things that I do not feel that I'm exceptional at. Add pregnancy hormones to that, and it's been a rough transition. I can't go back to work at this time. I'll have the dudes home with me all summer and then the bot in the fall. It's a hard pill to swallow working so hard for so many years, spending over $50K on an education, and then...making peanut butter sandwiches, doing dishes and playing Candyland all day. Mentally stimulating it is not. That's why I have LuLu. Adult interaction, though, I think is going to be the rough spot for me. I need to talk and hang out with humans often that are over the age of 8.
THE DUDES!
Birthdays are coming up! Little Man will be 6, and Big Man will be 8 in just a few short weeks. They are getting the birthday bash of the century this year. We wanted to do something big for them since the Bot is coming. We're taking the dudes on a babymoon. In 3-1/2 weeks, we'll be setting off for Manhattan to hop on board the Disney Magic for an 8-day cruise to the Bahamas, PLUS a day at Disney World! The dudes are SO excited. They wake up once a week and ask, "OMGosh, is it Boat Day?!? IS IT BOAT DAY!?!?" haha
Then, they get to come home, and the next weekend have a huge family party down in Kentucky at one of their favorite places where there is a pool and a trampoline and horses. Making out like bandits this year. Which is good. Since they have no toys left. Explanation to follow:
BEFORE:
This seriously happened. Two dudes + one playroom = THIS. And this is only half of it that would fit in the picture. The mess extended another 200 square feet to the right. This is a HUGE "L-shaped" room.
There were warnings. Two weeks of warnings. "I'm going to come down here with trash bags." "Seriously, dudes. You do NOT want me to clean this up. There WILL be trash bags involved." The dudes. They did not listen. Instead, they dumped out yet ANOTHER tub of toys onto the floor. Then, one day, Little Man came upstairs sans glasses. "Where are your glasses?" "I dunno. Downstairs somewhere." *Head asplode*
So. The next day. I cleaned it. For 8 hours.
Happy dudes this did NOT make. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth and sorting through the trash to see if they could sneak some salvage back into their lives. They couldn't. There were WARNINGS! Still always a shock when we follow through with discipline. Always. It's been 5 years of always following through. No idle threats. WTF?
Anyway, I did NOT throw away all of it. I threw away about 1/3 of it. All broken, missing parts or unused for years. Dried Play-Doh and markers that haven't seen the light of day (or a lid) in 6 months, full coloring books, plus thousands of little bits of paper. The dudes are obsessed with cutting paper into teeny tiny bits. With all of the broken stuff, I still managed to fill two lawn trash bags to be sent to the curb. The toddler toys went into two large tubs to be sorted for garage sale. About 1/3 of it went into a separate room for them to keep. It's the stuff they actually try to play with but, shockingly, had no space. Seriously, who could set up a train track or a race road in that mess?
So we've gotta new system, and it seems to be working out well. The kids check toys out of the storage room. They've even made it fun for themselves by making a little library card to pretend to swipe when they check out toys. When they are done with those, they clean them up and exchange them. The best part is that they have all of this SPACE to play! They can put on skates or build a huge train or just run in circles in here now because it's empty. Good stuff. Of course, after birthdays, we're gonna have to find a little more room in the storage area for the new toys.
Unfortunately, I did NOT find the glasses. They weren't in there. Two days later, Eric found them in his office, on top of a box of tools. They were blending right in with the hammer. He owes me 8 hours of back and foot rubs. Finally...
THE BOT!
The Bot will be 18 weeks in the tummy in two days, and we find out if it's a male or female bot in about 2-1/2 weeks :) She's tumbling around in there like CRAZY and measuring a full week bigger than she's supposed to. I'm hitting lots of pregnancy milestones early, like feeling movement, feet swelling, etc. I wonder if that means I'll give birth early. I'm enjoying the pregnancy and everything that comes with it quite a lot, though the heartburn so far is the worst. I feel like I can't breathe, and it stops me from sleeping for a while most nights. I have to talk to my doctor about a better solution than Tums.
Ok, I HAVE to stop writing now and get to my to-do list. I wanna attempt my first batch of cupcakes from scratch today. Try to make my homemaker skills a little higher than mediocre.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Vote for me!
I don't know how to put the little button in the blog, so I'll just link it here.
CLICK ME!!
I'm number 25 on the Circle of Moms Top 25 mom's with blended families blogs. Voting ends tomorrow, so if you could, hook me up with a clicky click. Just click above, scroll down and hit the vote button for me? Please?
THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE GREATEST!
CLICK ME!!
I'm number 25 on the Circle of Moms Top 25 mom's with blended families blogs. Voting ends tomorrow, so if you could, hook me up with a clicky click. Just click above, scroll down and hit the vote button for me? Please?
THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE GREATEST!
