Monday, March 26, 2012


I love that the dudes have inherited things from my persona, even though we are not blood related.  Big Man inherited daddy's shyness, and Little Man inherited mommy's ability to attract friendship wherever she goes.  They may have their father's beautiful eyes and their mother's gorgeous hair, but a lot of their sense of humor is all me.  Big Man is downstairs running in circles and screaming, "I'm running around like a crazy person!!!"  That's MY influence.  *puffs chest proudly*

In about 28 weeks or so I will have a little one that WILL look like me, though.  One that will call me "Mommy" instead of "Karen".  Maybe.  It's likely that the little one will be confused, as everyone in the house calls me "Karen," so that may stick with him or her, too.  That would hurt, seeing as I pushed that watermelon outta a peach.  I'll be like that Mindy cartoon on Animaniacs, where she just calls her mom "Lady" all of the time.  I bet it's funnier when you're watching it on TV.

I got off topic.  Shocking.  Ok, HERE'S the 8-week picture of the bot.

He/She has little arms and legs :)  That was four weeks ago.  Of course, you can't tell if he's got my features or Eric's, yet.  I stare at the picture and hope she gets Eric's perfect skin and lovely blue eyes and my little ears and pretty hair.  I stare at the picture, and I hope he gets Eric's masculinity and brain power and my determination and grace.

I stare at this picture and ask myself if I've ruined her life by conceiving her with my maybe-broken-a-little-bit genes and adding my nobody-knows-if-they're-messed-up chromosomes and pumping her full of my science-can't-figure-out-if-this-causes-it blood.  Is he doomed to a life of training, therapy, doctors and medications?  Are we?  Will my high-functioning Asperger's mutate into her low-functioning autism? Will his big brothers be defending him in school and at the park and in Kroger for the rest of their lives?

Will he or she live a full life anyway?  I do know that answer.  Absolutely.  This bot is loved.  Unconditionally.

2 You Said What?:

Melody DeLury said...

There is a lady I know of with 8 children who is a high functioning Aspie, to the best of my knowledge her children are quirky but normal :) I think the odds are in your favor.

Hollie Jarboe said...

You are a phenomal person and will continue to be a phenomenal momma! I have bonus kids too and my biological ones are not confused. YOU WILL BE MOM, MA, MUM, MOMMY, MOMMA, Whatever you choose to be named, you will be her keeper, his best friend, her secret keeper, his best hugger and kisser when he wakes up, the best tucker-inner, and good night book reader. You, above all of these things will be THE ONE. The one that she always talks to, gets pissed at, hugs the most, loves the best and hurts with at times, but is never hurt by. The one who always protects him when he's too proud to be told he needs protected, his gate keeper, girlfriend advise giver. Karen, You are mom. Through and through. I love you and am so proud that I can call you my cousin. So there. :) XOXOX