Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Love Blender

I'm changing the look, description and name of my blog this morning to "Love Blender".  The address will be the same, since Loveblender.blogspot is already taken, though it only has one post, and it was years ago, and it's not about anything parenty, so I'm sure it's fine that I take the name.  I'm writing a post for Circle of Moms about identity and definitions, and I decided The Autistic Stepmom is just too much definition for me.

Hope you enjoy the new format, and if not, poop on you!

Monday, May 21, 2012

I bought!

I want to put this picture on it.  Just have to figure out how :D

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Creative...Discipline? Parenting? Party Games?

The east-side Indianapolis Walmart.  Always a grand adventure.  You all have one of these Walmarts in your town.  The Walmart everyone avoids because it is just TOO trashy to be seen near.  Not even a roll back to free hand sanitizer can get you in there unless you've been promised VIP status, and the Walmart will be cleared of all other customers before you set foot in it.  Yeah.  I was there today.  Herein lies the fun.

First, I get there at 10 a.m.   There are four items on my list.  I grab the first from the bakery and head to the toy section for a pair of swim goggles.  This is when my adventure begins.  Teeth cringing through some horrid country song on the PA system, I am relieved when it is shut off mid-song, thinking, "Oh, good, some generic announcement about $4 prescriptions is much better than that twangy crap."  But, was it an advertisement?  OH, NO! No it was not!  It was someone changing the station.  To a VERY loud, VERY vulgar rap song.  I actually had to stop my wonky cart with the gum stuck to one wheel (kerthump, kerthump, kerthump) to comment about it on Facebook.  Someone figured it out and shut it back off, and I was placed back into the hands of Carrie Underwood with a new appreciation for songs that don't say "bitch" every other word.

BTW, the east side Walmart?  Out of adult-sized swim goggles.  So, on to Electronics where a nice young person calling himself "Hennessey" assisted me for 0.35 seconds before he was pulled away from a customer (me) for a very important mission with a handrolled cigarette back behind the box bailer.  His replacement cashier was an extremely thin woman with "RIP some dude" tattooed on her neck who was chewing gum with her mouth open so wide that she may have won a cud-chewing contest against six prized dairy cows.  She couldn't get my gift card to work.  "I can never get them gift cards to work right."  Them.  Them gift cards.  *sigh*  Faith in humanity?  Destroyed.  Kerthump, kerthump, kerthump I go out of the store.  Finally.  Where I see the most disturbing thing I've seen in quite a while...

Walking to the car behind me was a woman and a young boy, perhaps 10 years old.  The boy was in handcuffs.  Behind his back, cuffed.  The woman was NOT a police officer.  In fact, by the resemblance, I would assume she was his mother.  He did not seem distressed or disturbed by his cuffs in any way, meaning he wasn't trying to fight them or anything.  He didn't seem sad or upset, either, or even all that embarrassed.  She had the key, so SHE cuffed him.  She uncuffed him so that he could get into the car.

WTF, T?!?!?  I was trying to make up stories to why this is possibly happening, but most of them in my head were really disturbing.  Like, he has special needs and flails and needs controlled.  But, for real, I think that's considered abuse.  Then I thought, maybe this is some sort of creative discipline.  Maybe, junior got caught shoplifting or something.  "For our next 20 trips to the store, young man, your hands will be cuffed behind your back so that your sticky fingers can't touch anything!"  Then, in my head, I said, "haaaaaahahahahahahha!"  I've often thought about what kinda creative discipline I would employ if I caught my kids shoplifting when they got older.  That may go in the hat.  I was thinking I'd have them go on the PA system in the store and apologize to all of the customers because of the higher prices due to the five-finger discount he was trying to employ.  "I was just trying to get a discount, Karen!  You love a good deal!"

As I left the east side Walmart, there was, of course, a lady standing at the intersection with a sign asking for money.  I didn't give her any.  Hardly anyone I know gives these people money, but lots of other people do.  I don't give them money mostly because I don't carry cash.  Other people's reasons are different.  Like, "I don't know what they are going to do with it."  I don't know what my waitress at Steak N Shake is gonna do with her money, either, but I still tip her.  Maybe I'll start giving them coupons instead.  That way, I KNOW they are spending it on 3 boxes of Keebler crackers 12 oz size or bigger.  Or, "I saw on the news that those people make a ton of money and aren't really needy."  The lie that they are homeless or needy IS annoying.  However, I don't care if they make a ton of money.  They do work for it.  Standing up for 8 to 10 hours on the side of a highway in all kinds of weather seems like the shittiest job ever.  At least they are their own boss.  Hey, they're livin the dream!  No workin for the man for those folks!  You take that vacation day if you need it, Harold!  No one can stop you!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Those Oddball Attachment Parents

So, this horrid Time magazine cover has spotlighted two things.  One, the mommy wars, so eff them for that.  “Are You Mom Enough?”  Yes.  Thanks.  I don’t even have to read your stupid article to know that I am.  I won’t be reading it, as it is, as something as ridiculous as that will certainly not earn any of my money.  The second spotlight, and what the article pretends to be about when it is really about sensationalism, is attachment parenting.  That’s what this Snoop Bloggy Blog is going to be about.  Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, etc.  All are signs that you are an attachment parent.
So, when we got pregnant I had lots of ideas for my labor and delivery and how we were gonna feed the baby, etc.   Turns out, we’re kinda attachment parents, by frugality and convenience really.  Now, I had heard the term before, but I have never read anything about it.  I’d never heard of Dr. Sears, and I still haven’t read anything he’s ever written.  I had heard of and read Dr. Laura.  Off topic, but eff that snooty mcsnootsnoot.

Attachment parenting is the subject of much ridicule.  I was unaware of this.   Because…why?  This makes no sense to me.  I’m gonna breastfeed this kid.  Why does that mean I get ridiculed?  Formula is expensive, dudes!  Breastfeeding is like the ultimate extreme couponing but without the hoarding.  Er…scratch that.  Ask me again when I’m engorged and nowhere near a baby or a pump.  I’ll be all BREAST MILK HOARDERS!  TONIGHT ON TLC.  Anyway, there hasn’t been much discussion from people about this other than my husband and my doctor saying, “Hey, how you gonna feed the bot?” and me responding, “Through these AMAZING boobs!”

Apparently, though, once I actually start feeding my kid, in real life, instead of just talking about it, I will get points and stares.  The heck?  This makes NO sense to me.  I will also get points and stares if the kid is crying and I DON’T feed it, because, “Hey, shut that kid up.”  Oh, man, I didn’t even know she was cryin, dude!  Thanks for pointing that out!  Lemme go ahead and duct tape her mouth for your convenience, since I’ll get even more rude comments if I actually FEED her.

Ok, ok, fine, I understand about some of the ridicule or why there is ridicule.  Breastfeeding makes others uncomfortable.  Not my problem, really, and I’ll feed the bot whenever or wherever he’s hungry if he’s with me, but I do see the other side of the coin as to WHY there is “debate” about this.  I also wanna breastfeed the bot until at least a year old and then slow weaning at nighttimes until maybe 2 or so, because this LINKY LINK!    

It’s from the American Academy of Pediatrics, so not one doctor trying to sell a book but lots of doctors who are peer-reviewed and have different ideas about stuff.  Scientists, not sensationalists.  It says breastfeeding to a year is preferred, so I’ma do that.  Big kids attached at the boob is debatable, too.  I don’t care, really.  I’m not gonna take pictures and put it on the internet, but I’m gonna do what I think is best for the bot.  Still, I get why people talk about it.  It’s not the norm in the US.  Whatever.

What I DON’T understand a debate about is babywearing.  I had no idea this was so controversial.  I still don’t understand WHY it is so controversial.  I bought a sling and a Baby Bjorn and a hip carrier.  I registered for a Moby wrap.  I didn’t know this was weird or not normal.  Hell, the picture on the Baby Bjorn of a dude wearing the baby looks like it was taken in 1982.  (Note to manufacturer.  Maybe it’s time for an update, hmmm?)  Then a post popped up on my mom’s site about people getting stares and points for wearing the baby.  Wha?  Then a friend was discussing the ridiculous Time cover on her Facebook page, and someone replied with “whole insane goddamn sling thing”.  Uh, double WHA??  Wearing a baby is “insane?”  I’m gonna do it because have you ever lugged that danged, heavy-ass pumpkin seat around with you wherever you went?  It seems so much easier to just pop the kid in a carrier, and you can be hands free, right?  I cannot even remotely find the logic in thinking that people who wear a baby are weird or that it’s an insane thing to do.  There was no explanation as to WHY it is insane.  Just that it is.  Can someone explain this to me?  It just seems so…convenient!  Kid in a backpack, instead of bicep curls with the baby seat walkin through the mall and trying to figure out the crazy travel stroller thing while the kid screams in the back of the car because you’re out of her line of sight for 30 seconds while you unfold the thing.  I thought I was gonna wear this baby in order to KEEP my sanity. 

Also, been practicing with the cat.  The tail has been a problem, but I think the wiggle factor is about right.


I don’t have anything to say about co-sleeping.  I’m not putting my baby in my bed.  Though, the bot will be NEXT to the bed in a pack and play with a raised bassinet attachment.  Again, convenient.  I can just slouch on over there, put him in the sling and shove a boob in his mouth at 3 a.m.

I’m WEIRD?  Huh.  Well, putting a cat in the sling IS weird, but in general.  I mean, I’ve never pointed and stared at a kid breastfeeding or being fed formula, or in a baby wrap, or in a stroller.  I don’t plan on starting either, now that I know that some of these practices are abnormal, apparently.  This all just seems so strange to me.  I always assumed that we were all doing the best we could with what our guts told us to do.  That we were ALL “mom enough.”

Monday, May 7, 2012

Here We Go!

I have SO MUCH to say!  School is finally over for me.  I'm walking in the commencement ceremony in six days!  Ok, so first.  There will be topics!  I have THAT much to say.

Supposibly.  Supposably is also not a word.  That red line under it doesn't mean that you spelled it wrong.  You can't spell it correctly.  Supposed.  Now THAT'S a word.

Irregardless.  HAAAAAAAAAAATE! STABBY STABBY!  Regardless = word.  Irregardless = making you look like a moron.  Actually, this may be one that is used SO egregiously that it has become a word now.  Either way, it's redundant.

Conversate.  Converse will do.  Oh! Unless!  Maybe we are starting to conjugate verbs with super special endings.  Like romance languages.  English.  Ah.  So romantic.  *flutter eyelashes*

Condensate.  Much like above, not a word.  Condense. condenses on things.


Y'all did it!  I made it onto the Top 25 Moms of Blended Families blogs on Circle of Moms.  You can click HERE to get to the COM Round-Up.  WHY would you want to do that, you ask?  Because as number 22 in the Top 25, I have been invited to guest blog on the Round-Up.  This means LOTS more readers!  But not here, because I can't just write a post here and then copy it to send to the Round-Up.  I have to send it to the Round-Up first, and then, if they like it and publish it, I can copy it to here.  If they hate it and don't want to publish it, then I could copy it to here, too, but, then again, I'd have already been told it sucked, so why would you awesome dudes wanna read it?  Never stopped me before, I guess.

Anyway, the point is to say THANK YOU!  Your votes have really, REALLY helped me out.  More readers means more exposure.  More exposure means a better chance of success for...


I'm getting art supplies today!  That means that LuLunacy begins now.  I'm going to draw LuLu so that I can have a picture of her in my head as I develop her.  I'm going to draw her blog design, so I can show it to Eric and say, "Hey, babity babity babe, can you make this picture a reality on the internets?  I'll make you an English muffin."  I'm going to start drawing story boards.  I need to start at the end, I think.  Where do I want LuLu to end up?  I'm not sure, yet, but I think I need the end before I write the beginning.


There's not much to say about it.  I'm finished.  I have the highest GPA of the Political Science Department.  Maybe.  Two of my grades haven't come in, yet.  I think I got a B in Geography.  That sucks.  I've never gotten a B as a final course grade before, and it happened on my last class ever and because of a GROUP project that I got a D on.  A D!!  Relying on others for my grades is lame.  I may have still gotten an A.  If I was able to pull 41 out of 50 points on my final exam, I can still get one.  I'm not too confident about it, but maybe I got it.  Grades are due this evening, and then they update them in the morning, so I'll find out then.  Pregnancy has wrought havoc on my studying the semester.  I was just so tired and unable to concentrate.  I'm shocked that my Terrorism and African Politics grades turned out the way they did.  I really thought my AP paper was crap.  Apparently my professor thought otherwise.  I do speculate, though, that I didn't really EARN that A on that paper.  I think there was some bias.  That particular professor knows a lot about my history.  He's my advisor.  He knows about my high GPA and what I do to maintain it.  He knows I had an unfair grade from another professor due to negative bias on a GOOD paper I wrote.  He knows about my autism.  His son has it, too.  I think he may have done me a solid here and maybe added a few additional points.  Not a lot.  I mean, it wasn't a FAILING paper by any means.  I did work hard on it.  I just didn't focus well.


School ending has been really tough for me.  I loved it, and more than that, I was exceptional at it.  I'm now a full-time wife, mom and homemaker.  These are things that I do not feel that I'm exceptional at.  Add pregnancy hormones to that, and it's been a rough transition.  I can't go back to work at this time.  I'll have the dudes home with me all summer and then the bot in the fall.  It's a hard pill to swallow working so hard for so many years, spending over $50K on an education, and then...making peanut butter sandwiches, doing dishes and playing Candyland all day.  Mentally stimulating it is not.  That's why I have LuLu.  Adult interaction, though, I think is going to be the rough spot for me.  I need to talk and hang out with humans often that are over the age of 8.


Birthdays are coming up!  Little Man will be 6, and Big Man will be 8 in just a few short weeks.  They are getting the birthday bash of the century this year.  We wanted to do something big for them since the Bot is coming.  We're taking the dudes on a babymoon.  In 3-1/2 weeks, we'll be setting off for Manhattan to hop on board the Disney Magic for an 8-day cruise to the Bahamas, PLUS a day at Disney World!  The dudes are SO excited.  They wake up once a week and ask, "OMGosh, is it Boat Day?!? IS IT BOAT DAY!?!?" haha

Then, they get to come home, and the next weekend have a huge family party down in Kentucky at one of their favorite places where there is a pool and a trampoline and horses.  Making out like bandits this year.  Which is good.  Since they have no toys left.  Explanation to follow:


This seriously happened.  Two dudes + one playroom = THIS.  And this is only half of it that would fit in the picture.  The mess extended another 200 square feet to the right.  This is a HUGE "L-shaped" room.

There were warnings.  Two weeks of warnings.  "I'm going to come down here with trash bags."  "Seriously, dudes.  You do NOT want me to clean this up.  There WILL be trash bags involved."  The dudes.  They did not listen.  Instead, they dumped out yet ANOTHER tub of toys onto the floor.  Then, one day, Little Man came upstairs sans glasses.  "Where are your glasses?"  "I dunno.  Downstairs somewhere."  *Head asplode*

So.  The next day.  I cleaned it.  For 8 hours.

Happy dudes this did NOT make.  There was much crying and gnashing of teeth and sorting through the trash to see if they could sneak some salvage back into their lives.  They couldn't.  There were WARNINGS!  Still always a shock when we follow through with discipline.  Always.  It's been 5 years of always following through.  No idle threats.  WTF?

Anyway, I did NOT throw away all of it.  I threw away about 1/3 of it.  All broken, missing parts or unused for years.  Dried Play-Doh and markers that haven't seen the light of day (or a lid) in 6 months, full coloring books, plus thousands of little bits of paper.  The dudes are obsessed with cutting paper into teeny tiny bits.  With all of the broken stuff, I still managed to fill two lawn trash bags to be sent to the curb.  The toddler toys went into two large tubs to be sorted for garage sale.  About 1/3 of it went into a separate room for them to keep.  It's the stuff they actually try to play with but, shockingly, had no space.  Seriously, who could set up a train track or a race road in that mess?

So we've gotta new system, and it seems to be working out well.  The kids check toys out of the storage room.  They've even made it fun for themselves by making a little library card to pretend to swipe when they check out toys.  When they are done with those, they clean them up and exchange them.  The best part is that they have all of this SPACE to play!  They can put on skates or build a huge train or just run in circles in here now because it's empty.  Good stuff.  Of course, after birthdays, we're gonna have to find a little more room in the storage area for the new toys.

Unfortunately, I did NOT find the glasses.  They weren't in there.  Two days later, Eric found them in his office, on top of a box of tools.  They were blending right in with the hammer.  He owes me 8 hours of back and foot rubs.  Finally...


The Bot will be 18 weeks in the tummy in two days, and we find out if it's a male or female bot in about 2-1/2 weeks :)  She's tumbling around in there like CRAZY and measuring a full week bigger than she's supposed to.  I'm hitting lots of pregnancy milestones early, like feeling movement, feet swelling, etc.  I wonder if that means I'll give birth early.  I'm enjoying the pregnancy and everything that comes with it quite a lot, though the heartburn so far is the worst.  I feel like I can't breathe, and it stops me from sleeping for a while most nights.  I have to talk to my doctor about a better solution than Tums.

Ok, I HAVE to stop writing now and get to my to-do list.  I wanna attempt my first batch of cupcakes from scratch today.  Try to make my homemaker skills a little higher than mediocre.