Sunday, January 16, 2011

GIMME THOSE COUPONS!!!! McGyver style.

Listen, recycling Dumpster.  I SEE those coupons in there, and I WILL have them!

So, I had to take the paper recycling today, and I threw it in there, and lo and behold, there are two new SmartSource booklets sitting right on top of someone's discarded Indy Star.  Well, I want them.  So, I open the top door and reach in to grab them, and I'm about an inch too short.  So, I stand on my tippy toes and make myself REAL long.  I still can't reach them.  I WANT THOSE!!  So, I have to go into McGyver mode.  If I can open the Dumpster door all of the way, then I can just hike myself up and lean over and grab them.  Sounds pretty easy.  Except I'm not tall enough to open the door all of the way.  I tried with all of my might to throw that lid open, and it just came down every time.  Once I missed catching it, and it hit me in the noodle.  That was enough trying for me.  I just need to be a little bit taller!  So, I went looking for something to stand on.  My recycling basket is a thin wicker basket that I would have fallen through.  There were several cardboard boxes that looked full of stuff in the bin, but I couldn't reach those, either.  I had nothing sturdy or tall in my trunk, so standing on something was out.  Then I thought, maybe I have some tweezers in my purse.  All this time, this dude delivering Pepsi to the Kroger is in his truck, munching away on his sandwich and laughing hysterically at me.  THANKS, BUDDY!  COULD YOU GIVE US A HAND AND MAYBE JUST HOLD THE LID OPEN OR SOMETHIN?!  Anyway, I didn't have any tweezers.  Then, I decided if I could just prop the lid open high enough not to whack my noggin or my back on it, then I could hike myself up and grab them with a quickness.  So I propped the lid up with my recycling basket and went for it.

I whacked both my noggin AND my back on the lid, knocking my recycling basket off the edge, and closing myself halfway in the bin, with my legs and butt dangling out.  I am STILL about 1 cm from being able to reach the coupons, and now the Pepsi guy probably has his delicious cola beverage flying out of his nose from laughter.  Yet, he still does not offer to help.

So, I decided to make some homemade extendo-arms and grab the coupons that way.  I propped the lid back up with my basket, grabbed a book and my ice scraper from the car, leaned in there and grabbed the first coupon booklet with my extensions.  SUCCESS! COUPON BOOKLET #1 IS MINE! MWWWWUUUUUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!  VICTORY!  So I leaned back in to grab the second booklet and get out of there with my dignity intact (aaaahahahaha).  As it is, I dropped my ice scraper in the Dumpster, and when it hit the coupon booklet, they all slid down out of reach again, especially since my left Go-Go-Gadget arm had just fallen in.  All hope was lost, dudes.  And now I NEED that ice scraper.  IT'S WINTER IN INDIANA!  I had to call in reinforcements.  Eric was on his way home from church, and I asked him to stop by the Kroger recycling bins, please.  I needed assistance.  I'd explain when he got there.

Eric showed up...all 6' many inches of him.  He reached right in there and got my ice scraper AND the other coupon booklet, no problem.  I explained the situation.  He says he'll still marry me anyway.

1 You Said What?:

Anonymous said...

anything for a bargain... and it didn't cost you anything, just a bit of dignity hehehe xx

(alex btw cant be bothered to sign in to google)