Sunday, November 14, 2010

Do these pants make my butt look big?

No.  They don't.  It's my butt that makes my butt look big.  I'm gaining weight.  Rapidly.  I've upped two jeans sizes in the last two months, and today, my bigger jeans were hard to button.  I've gotta muffin top all around them, and they aren't even low-rise jeans.  *sigh*

Here's the thing about my eating habits.  They're bad, but they're not THAT bad.  There are things that I eat a LOT, though.  Macaroni and cheese, Kraft brand, powdered cheese only, no funny shapes.  I eat this about twice a week, but dudes!  I no longer eat the WHOLE box now that I have to share with two little dudes!  Also, I eat a lot of A1 sauce.  I don't know what that has to do with anything.  I eat those Lipton butter noodles and then dump A1 sauce in them.  I can't eat them any other way without developing a major 'tude.  Eric tried to put some corn in there once to make it semi-healthy, and let me tell you, having one of the adults at the table crying through dinner is a real mood killer.  I had to pick out every little piece of corn first before I could enjoy my noodles.  It was a disastah! 

Also, I will never say "disaster" properly again, now that I know how Beyonce says it.  "Disastah".  She is so cool.

As it is, I work out, and I do eat smaller portions than I used to, so why in the effin eff am I GAINING weight?  Girlfriend rides ten miles on a bike two or three times a week!  I have killer calves, though.  They are not a disastah.  But my poor butt and stomach.  All I gotta say is that I'm glad Eric likes cottage cheese.  I think this has something to do with aging.  I really have changed my eating and exercise habits for the BETTER, not the worse, so I have no clue what is going on. 


3 You Said What?:

Alex said...

one word: love/happiness/contentment

okay that was three joined together!

kathryn said...

Maybe you've got some comfort connection to carbs. I read somewhere that carbohydrate rich foods increase serotonin production. So, maybe supplement with more protein and greens to help balance it out?

maedomogalik said...

You guys introduced me to Lipton noodles! When I came to stay with you and Russ when your mom went to Vegas. I had never had them before and it's like the only thing we ate that weekend. I kept them stocked in my dorm room in college. I'm pretty sure they are not good for the butt/jeans relationship!